Coaching practices for I Pitched it the Way it Excites Me All the Upside and What We'd Gain and it Fell Flat Because the Person Across From Me Isn't Chasing a Win They're Trying Not to Lose What They've Got and I Was Speaking the Wrong Language
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Pitched it the Way it Excites Me All the Upside and What We'd Gain and it Fell Flat Because the Person Across From Me Isn't Chasing a Win They're Trying Not to Lose What They've Got and I Was Speaking the Wrong Language, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My pitch keeps falling flat with certain people, and I’m starting to think it’s because I’m always selling the exciting upside to someone who only really cares about not losing what they already have.
- I pitched it the way it excites me
- I keep pitching people on what they’d gain and it just slides right off them
- I keep pitching my case the way that convinced me
- I keep making what feels to me like an obviously compelling case and watching it bounce right off this person
Practices that may help
- Frame the goal as prevention or promotion
Match the message to whether the person is chasing gains or guarding against losses.
The Framing Effect - Match your message frame to the audience’s motivation type
Promotion-focused audiences respond to gains; prevention-focused ones respond to avoiding losses.
Elaboration Likelihood Model, Made Practical - Frame what inaction costs, not what action gains
Describe the cost of not acting rather than the benefit of acting — the brain weights the former more heavily.
The Loss Frame: How Framing Shapes Decisions - Match your approach to the other person’s decision-making style
Some people decide from data; others from gut; others from consensus — find out which before presenting.
The Platinum Rule - Communicate across value-system differences
Translate your message into the motivational language of the person you’re trying to reach.
Spiral Dynamics, Made Practical - Adapt to Expressives: lead with energy, vision, and big picture
With high-assertiveness, high-responsiveness people, match their enthusiasm and connect to the larger story.
Social Style Matrix: Adapting to How People Communicate - Build a shared "third story"
Open with a neutral framing both sides could accept, not your version of events.
Difficult Conversations, Made Practical - Set the reference point before you introduce the loss
Loss is always measured from a reference point — who sets that point controls the framing.
The Loss Frame: How Framing Shapes Decisions - Adopt the learning stance
Trade "I know what happened" for "I want to understand what happened for you".
Difficult Conversations, Made Practical - Channel attention to the relevant concept before the ask
Briefly focus the audience on a concept that makes your core message naturally follow.
Pre-Suasion, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Prospect Theory Messaging
Promotion-focused audiences respond to gains; prevention-focused ones respond to avoiding losses.
Match your message frame to the audience’s motivation type
- Prospect Theory Framing
Yes, and substantially. Prospect theory (Kahneman & Tversky) established that people feel losses about twice as intensely as equivalent gains, so a message framed around what you stand to lose tends to be more motivating than one framed around what you stand to gain — especially for risk-averse decisions. The effect is real and well-replicated, though its size depends on the stakes, the audience, and the domain.
- When Framing Effect Goal Framing
Match the message to whether the person is chasing gains or guarding against losses.
Frame the goal as prevention or promotion
- When The Loss Frame Message Frame The Cost Of Inaction
Describe the cost of not acting rather than the benefit of acting — the brain weights the former more heavily.
Frame what inaction costs, not what action gains
- Gain Vs Loss Framing
Yes, and substantially. Prospect theory (Kahneman & Tversky) established that people feel losses about twice as intensely as equivalent gains, so a message framed around what you stand to lose tends to be more motivating than one framed around what you stand to gain — especially for risk-averse decisions. The effect is real and well-replicated, though its size depends on the stakes, the audience, and the domain.
- Loss Framing Motivation
Yes, and substantially. Prospect theory (Kahneman & Tversky) established that people feel losses about twice as intensely as equivalent gains, so a message framed around what you stand to lose tends to be more motivating than one framed around what you stand to gain — especially for risk-averse decisions. The effect is real and well-replicated, though its size depends on the stakes, the audience, and the domain.
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