Coaching practices for The Person I'm Trying to Help Has Basically Given Up on Themselves They Don't Believe They Can Do it and My You've Got This Cheerleading Rings Hollow and Just Bounces Right Off Them
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Person I'm Trying to Help Has Basically Given Up on Themselves They Don't Believe They Can Do it and My You've Got This Cheerleading Rings Hollow and Just Bounces Right Off Them, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- The person I’m trying to help has basically given up on themselves
- I just don’t believe I can do this, and no amount of "you’ve got this" or hyping myself up moves that conviction an inch
- I don’t believe I can actually pull this off, and the things I do that take real grit I just wave away as nothing
- I’m completely unmotivated and I honestly can’t tell whether it’s that deep down I don’t believe I can pull this off, or that I just don’t care about it
- People around me keep cheering "you’ve got this!" and it bounces right off
Practices that may help
- Affirm genuine strengths and effort
Notice and name real strengths the person brings — not empty praise.
Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical - Build expectancy through mastery experiences, not just affirmations
Expectancy — the belief that you can succeed — grows from actual small wins, not self-talk.
Expectancy-Value Theory: Why You Try (or Don’t) - Complimenting Strengths Throughout the Session
Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works - Diagnose whether you are stuck on expectancy or value
Before trying to motivate yourself, identify which of the two factors is actually low.
Expectancy-Value Theory: Why You Try (or Don’t) - Use specific, credible encouragement (social persuasion)
Targeted feedback from people you trust nudges what you believe you can attempt.
Self-Efficacy: Building the Belief You Can - Invoke the possible self during setbacks
When you fail or stall, return to the hoped-for self — not to the outcome goal — as your re-orienting anchor.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Update the self-concept incrementally
Revise one specific self-belief at a time — not the whole identity at once.
Self-Verification Theory, Made Practical - Build mastery experiences
Stack small, genuine successes — the strongest source of believing you can.
Self-Efficacy: Building the Belief You Can - Interrupt learned helplessness
Test the belief that "nothing works" by running one small experiment that could prove it wrong.
Locus of Control: Building a Sense of Agency - Recover from setbacks without quitting the goal
Build a routine for bouncing back so setbacks don’t end the pursuit.
Grit: Passion and Perseverance, Honestly Assessed
Related concerns
- Self Efficacy Building The Belief You Can As A Caregiver
Stack small, genuine successes — the strongest source of believing you can.
Build mastery experiences
- When Solution Focused Brief Therapy Compliments And Strengths In Sfbt
Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
Complimenting Strengths Throughout the Session
- Expectancy Value Theory Why You Try Or Don T After A Setback
Jacquelynne Eccles’s expectancy-value theory proposes that motivation to pursue a task is jointly determined by two factors: expectancy (your belief that you can succeed) and value (how much you care about success). Both are required — high value with low expectancy produces anxiety and avoidance; high expectancy with low value produces competent indifference. The theory has a substantial empirical base primarily in academic achievement contexts, with reasonable generalisation to broader life domains.
- Self Efficacy Building The Belief You Can After A Loss
Immediately after any significant attempt, extract what worked before the memory fades.
Run a structured mastery debrief after each performance
- Self Efficacy Building The Belief You Can With My Partner
Stack small, genuine successes — the strongest source of believing you can.
- Self Efficacy Solution Focused
Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
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