Coaching practices for I'm Staring at a Choice Where the Smart Strategic Move and the Right Thing to Do Point in Different Directions and I Keep Trying to Find the Angle Where Doing Good Also Wins but Something Tells Me I'm Running the Wrong Kind of Math on a Question That Isn't Supposed to Be Optimized

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’m staring at a choice where the smart, strategic move and the right thing to do point in different directions, and I keep trying to find the angle where doing good also wins
  • I keep wanting to lock in the single most optimized version of the plan, but I can feel how fragile that gets if the world shifts
  • This is a one-way door
  • I pour the same agonizing effort into picking a toothpaste as into a real life decision, and by the time something that matters comes along my capacity to decide well is already spent on trivia.
  • I’ve been hyper-focused on hitting one number

Practices that may help

  1. Know your two selves (Adam I and Adam II)
    Distinguish the self that wants to build and achieve from the self that wants to be good.
    The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
  2. Prefer positions with optionality over positions with precision
    In uncertain environments, prioritize options to pivot over optimized fixed positions.
    The Ludic Fallacy: When You Mistake Real Life for a Game
  3. Use maximin reasoning for high-stakes, irreversible decisions under ambiguity
    Choose the option whose worst plausible outcome is most survivable — when you can’t compute expected value, optimize the floor.
    Ambiguity Aversion — Why Unknown Odds Feel Worse Than Bad Odds
  4. Choose maximize or satisfice per decision
    Reserve maximizing for the few high-stakes, lasting choices; satisfice the rest.
    Satisficing vs. Maximizing: When “Good Enough” Wins
  5. Change the metric you’re optimizing
    Shift which outcome you measure and the problem often dissolves or transforms entirely.
    Problem Reframing: Solving the Right Problem First
  6. Reduce opportunity-cost thinking
    Stop calculating what every rejected option "costs" you — it amplifies regret for no gain.
    Choice Overload, Made Practical
  7. Adopt satisficing instead of maximizing
    Set a "good enough" threshold before you search, then stop when you hit it.
    Choice Overload, Made Practical
  8. Use the 1/N rule for diversification under deep uncertainty
    When you cannot estimate the value of each option reliably, spread resources equally.
    Simple Heuristics: Gerd Gigerenzer’s Case for Fast and Frugal Thinking
  9. Satisfice: set a good-enough threshold and stop searching when you hit it
    Optimize for "good enough" rather than "best possible" — the search cost often exceeds the gain.
    Simple Heuristics: Gerd Gigerenzer’s Case for Fast and Frugal Thinking
  10. Optimize for avoiding stupidity, not brilliance
    Munger: "It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid."
    Inversion: Solve Problems Backward

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