Coaching practices for Write Your Own Eulogy Exercise

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Write Your Own Eulogy Exercise, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • If someone stood up at my funeral tomorrow and told the truth about how I actually treat people, I’m not sure I’d like what they’d have to say
  • My days get eaten by what’s urgent and I never zoom out to ask who I actually want to have been
  • I want to look back from the very end of my life and ask honestly what I actually did with my time
  • I can’t tell which of my values are truly mine and which I just absorbed from my parents or my culture
  • There’s a quality — real courage, say, or quiet generosity — that I admire deeply but have no idea how to actually grow in myself, and I want to find a real person who built it under pressure and trace how they did it, because right now it just feels like an abstract wish.

Practices that may help

  1. Write your own eulogy first
    Draft what you want said about your character at your funeral — then measure the gap against your life now.
    The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
  2. The eulogy exercise: working backward from the life you want
    Write a brief eulogy for yourself that describes who you were and how you lived — then work backward to what that requires today.
    Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
  3. The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
    David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
  4. Write a brief final accounting
    Write as if you’re reporting on your life: what did you do with your time?
    Memento Mori: Using Mortality Awareness to Focus What Matters
  5. Use the eulogy / future-self lens
    Imagine how you’d want to be remembered to reveal the values you’d defend most.
    Values Clarification, Made Practical
  6. Choose a character role model and study their biography
    Find a person — living or historical — whose eulogy virtues you admire and study how they built them.
    The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
  7. Write unsent letters for private emotional processing
    Write a gratitude letter with no intention of sending it — the writing itself is the practice.
    Gratitude Letters: Writing Your Way to Deeper Appreciation
  8. Use the deathbed perspective to clarify what matters
    Imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back — and use that perspective to evaluate today’s choices.
    The Legacy Letter: Writing What You Want to Leave Behind
  9. Write a letter to your future descendants
    Write a letter addressed to someone in your family line two or three generations ahead.
    The Good Ancestor: Long-Path Thinking for a Meaningful Life
  10. Speak or write to the person directly
    Address the deceased in letters, journal entries, or internal dialogue as a form of active continuing connection.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical

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