Courting the small self

Seek experiences that make you feel small in a good way — and notice the relief in it.

Why it works

Awe produces what researchers call the "small self": a felt sense of being one modest part of something much larger. Counterintuitively this is relieving, not diminishing — it loosens the grip of personal worries by re-scaling them against something vast, and it tilts people toward generosity and connection rather than self-protection.

How to do it

1. Deliberately place yourself near genuine vastness: a wide horizon, deep night sky, a great hall, the ocean.
2. Let yourself feel small without rushing to reassert control or narrate it.
3. Notice afterward whether your own problems feel re-proportioned.

Evidence

Experiments inducing awe (e.g. towering trees, vast vistas) find it produces a diminished sense of self-importance and increases prosocial and helping behavior relative to neutral or other positive emotions. (rct)

Most studies are short-term lab inductions; the "small self" can feel threatening rather than freeing for people in acute distress, so it is not a fix for active overwhelm.

Common mistake

Treating "feeling small" as something to resist or fix. The point is to let the re-scaling happen — fighting it to stay the center of the frame cancels the benefit.