Define yourself by actions, not intentions

You are not your intentions or your self-image — you are the accumulation of what you actually do.

Why it works

Sartre: "you are nothing other than your life." The practical implication is that self-knowledge comes not from introspection about what kind of person you are but from looking at what you have actually done. The identity you perform in your head ("I’m a generous person") is irrelevant until it shows up in behavior. This aligns with the behavioral research showing that stated values and actual behavior frequently diverge — and the divergence is more informative than the statement.

How to do it

1. Look at the last week of your actual behavior, not your intentions.
2. Name what that pattern reveals about your values in practice — not your stated values but your enacted ones.
3. If the enacted values diverge from the stated ones, name the gap explicitly rather than explaining it away.
4. Change the behavior, not the self-image.

Evidence

The attitude-behavior gap is well documented in social psychology. Focusing on actual behavior as the index of identity is consistent with the behavioral record literature and with studies showing that behavior is a more reliable predictor of future behavior than stated intentions. (observational)

Sartre’s claim is philosophical and maximalist (you are entirely what you do); psychology would add that dispositions, history, and context also matter. Use the behavioral focus as a corrective to self-flattering narrative, not as the whole picture.

Common mistake

Using "we are our choices" as self-condemnation for past failures rather than as a forward-looking clarifying tool. Sartre’s point is that you can always re-define yourself by new choices — the past is real but the future is not yet made.