Ask for ideas about the future, not assessments of the past

Replace "how did I do?" with "what ideas do you have for how I could do better?"

Why it works

Feedback about past performance is psychologically double-coded: it carries information and evaluation simultaneously. The evaluation activates self-protection, which competes with learning. Feedforward requests contain only information — suggestions about what to try — without the evaluative judgment. This removes the trigger for defensiveness and frees the recipient to hear the suggestion as an idea rather than a verdict.

How to do it

1. When seeking development input, use specific phrasing: "I’m working on [goal]. What two suggestions do you have that might help me?"
2. Do not ask the person to evaluate your past performance first — go directly to future ideas.
3. Listen to each suggestion with only one response: "Thank you." No debate, no justification, no agreement required.
4. Collect suggestions from multiple people; patterns across multiple sources are the signal.

Evidence

The feedforward framing maps onto psychological reactance research (evaluative input triggers defensiveness) and self-enhancement bias (people resist negative self-assessments). Direct controlled trials of feedforward vs. feedback are limited. (mechanistic)

Goldsmith’s claims are supported by his coaching practice, not by independent controlled trials. The mechanism is plausible and consistent with related research; the effect size in real organizations is not established empirically.

Common mistake

Prefacing the feedforward request with a summary of your past failures — which reintroduces the evaluative context you were trying to avoid and primes the responder to give criticism instead of ideas.