Affirm before receiving critical feedback

Do a brief values reflection before reading a critical evaluation so you can take in the information rather than defend against it.

Why it works

Critical feedback triggers the same self-integrity threat as any other failure cue: the brain reads the criticism as evidence of inadequacy and mobilizes defenses — minimizing, dismissing, blaming. Values affirmation temporarily restores the sense of global adequacy, which lowers the defensive need and lets the critical content land as useful data rather than as a threat to neutralize.

How to do it

1. Before opening a performance review, grade, or critical email, pause for three minutes.
2. Write three sentences about a value you live by that has nothing to do with the feedback’s domain.
3. Set the intention: “I can look at this clearly because it is information, not a verdict on my whole self.”
4. Then read the feedback and note what is useful before reacting.

Evidence

Experimental studies show that values affirmation before threatening health information led participants to process the information more accurately and change behavior more, compared to controls who tended to dismiss the same information. (rct)

Evidence is strongest for reducing defensive dismissal; whether it also improves the quality of the feedback’s implementation over time is less directly studied.

Sources

• Sherman, Nelson & Steele (2000), do messages about health risks threaten the self?, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

Common mistake

Doing the affirmation after receiving the feedback, which is too late — defensiveness has already been triggered and the information has been filtered before you can think clearly about it.