Practice amor fati — love what happens

Train yourself not just to accept what is given, but to want it — to find the ground for willing what occurs.

Why it works

Hadot emphasizes that the Stoic discipline of desire aims at a complete alignment between what you desire and what actually happens — not resignation but affirmation. This is the movement Nietzsche would later call amor fati. The mechanism is not emotional suppression but the redirection of desire toward reality as it is, which removes the gap between wanting and having that constitutes suffering.

How to do it

1. In a situation you find unwelcome, pause and ask: what is the best use I could make of this exact circumstance?
2. Find one genuine reason why this situation — not a better one, this one — is workable or even valuable.
3. Practice saying (internally), "I accept this" — not as resignation but as full engagement with what is actually here.
4. Over time, work toward: "I want this" — not because it is pleasant but because it is real, and reality is the only material you have.

Evidence

Acceptance-based strategies consistently outperform avoidance and suppression in managing difficult emotions; radical acceptance (DBT) and experiential acceptance (ACT) both target the resistance-to-reality mechanism that amor fati addresses. (clinical)

DBT and ACT support acceptance of difficult events; "loving" what happens (the Stoic higher bar) is not separately tested and may be too demanding for acute distress — acceptance is a more realistic starting point.

Sources

• Linehan, M.M. (1993), Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, Guilford Press

Common mistake

Confusing amor fati with passive endurance — accepting the circumstance while internally still wishing it were different, which is suppression rather than the genuine desire-alignment the practice targets.