Use reciprocal concessions in negotiation

Make a large ask first; concede to your real ask — the concession feels like a gift.

Why it works

A concession, even from an inflated opening position, triggers the reciprocity norm: the person who receives a concession feels an obligation to concede in return. This is the door-in-the-face mechanism applied to negotiation. The key is that the concession must feel genuine — a fake move-down is usually detectable and produces hostility.

How to do it

1. Open with a request that is larger than your actual goal but within the realm of plausibility.
2. When pushed back on, concede to your real ask in a way that feels deliberate: "Alright — what I actually need is X."
3. Acknowledge the concession explicitly: "I’m coming down from my original ask" — making the gift visible activates the norm.

Evidence

Cialdini et al. (1975) demonstrated the reciprocal concession effect (door-in-the-face): a large request refused followed by a smaller one produced significantly higher compliance than the smaller request alone. (observational)

Effect sizes vary with the perceived reasonableness of the original request; an extreme opening ask can damage credibility and reduce the concession’s value.

Sources

• Cialdini et al. (1975), Reciprocal concessions procedure for inducing compliance: The door-in-the-face technique, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Common mistake

Conceding on something you were never going to hold — for example, a fake requirement you introduced just to trade away — which experienced negotiators read immediately and which turns the norm into a liability.