Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval

Tell the child exactly what they did right so they know what to repeat.

Why it works

Generic praise ("good boy/girl") provides no information about which behavior produced the reward. Descriptive praise ("You put your shoes on the first time I asked — that was really helpful") labels the behavior precisely, increasing the probability that the child will repeat it. Because children are learning the rules of the social environment, specific feedback is a more efficient teacher than approval without content.

How to do it

1. When you want to reinforce a behavior, name it specifically: "[Exact behavior] — that was [quality/reason it matters]."
2. Deliver the praise immediately after the behavior.
3. Keep the tone warm and genuine rather than exaggerated.
4. Praise effort and process, not only outcome: "You kept trying even when it was hard" is more durable than "You got it right."

Evidence

Descriptive contingent praise is one of the most consistently supported behavioral parent-training techniques, appearing in virtually every evidence-based program (Triple P, PCIT, IY) with positive effect on child behavior. (rct)

The broad program-level evidence makes it difficult to isolate descriptive praise as the single active ingredient; it is rarely tested in isolation from the full skill package.

Sources

• Sanders, M. R. et al. (2014). The Triple P — Positive Parenting Program as a public health approach. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 10, 1–35.

Common mistake

Giving praise that mixes a positive observation with a complaint ("Finally, you cleaned your room — why don’t you do this more often?"), which undermines the reinforcement.