Coaching practices for Active Recognition Parenting

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Active Recognition Parenting, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There are certain moments
  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • My kid melts down and I snap straight back at the tantrum itself, and it only makes everything worse
  • My kid only seems to come at me when they want something or when they’re acting out, and I realize the only time I really pay full attention is when I’m correcting them

Practices that may help

  1. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  2. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  4. Be responsive to the child’s needs, not reactive to their behavior
    Responsiveness means tuning into what the child actually needs; reactivity means responding to what their behavior triggers in you.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
  5. Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
    Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  6. Plan behavior management strategies in advance
    Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  7. Manage your own emotional state before responding
    A regulated parent is the single most powerful behavior management tool available.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  8. Say yes to bids for connection before enforcing limits
    A child’s capacity to accept limits depends on how connected they feel to the person setting them.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
  9. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
    Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  10. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
    Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)

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