Coaching practices for Colleague Making Me Feel Bad Over a Game
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Colleague Making Me Feel Bad Over a Game, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Something a coworker did landed way harder than it should have and I’ve been stewing on it all day
- Everyone on my team is quietly playing for their own scoreboard
- I beat myself up over a call that went badly even though it was the right move with what I knew, and I let myself off the hook for reckless ones that happened to work out
- If a friend told me they’d blown off this exact thing I’d be gentle and kind to them in a heartbeat, yet to myself I’m brutal
- I beat myself up over a call that went badly even though it was reasonable with what I knew, and I pat myself on the back for a reckless one that happened to work
Practices that may help
- Downward arrow for interpreting others’ behavior
Use the arrow technique to identify the core belief driving your worst-case interpretation of what someone did.
The Downward Arrow: Uncovering the Core Beliefs Behind Distress - Align around collective results, not individual status
Teams fail when members prioritize their own visibility or department’s success over the shared goal.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Separate the quality of the decision from the outcome
A good decision can produce a bad outcome, and a bad decision can produce a good outcome — do not confuse them.
Thinking in Bets - Extend the compassion you would give a friend to yourself
Ask what you would say to a capable friend who had delayed on the same task — then say that.
Self-Forgiveness and Procrastination - Score decision quality separately from outcome quality
Judge the process you used — not whether it worked — when you review a past decision.
Decision Journaling: Learning to Decide Better Over Time - Respond non-punitively to mistakes
When someone brings you a problem or mistake, make your first move curiosity, not blame.
Psychological Safety in Teams - Practice owning your contribution in group settings
In team debrief or credit-distribution conversations, name your specific contribution before someone else summarizes it away.
Impostor Phenomenon, Made Practical - Repair a poor response
When you respond badly to good news, circle back and give the engaged response you missed.
Active-Constructive Responding, Made Practical - Name the actual impact on you or the team
Say what effect the behavior had — on you, on others, on the work.
The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical - Use the performance-feedback loop without Self 1
Treat every outcome as information, not a verdict — adjust without judging.
The Inner Game: Quieting Self 1
Related concerns
- Interview Question How Did You Handle Underperforming Coworker Mention Coworker Disability
When things seem terrible, ask how the person is managing at all — acknowledging and excavating their resilience.
Coping Questions
- How Do I Respond To Racist Remarks From A Coworker
Give team members specific language for raising concerns, not just permission to raise them.
Teach speak-up skills, not just encourage speaking up
- How To React Professionally When A Colleague Comes To Work With A Black Eye
When someone brings you a problem or mistake, make your first move curiosity, not blame.
Respond non-punitively to mistakes
- How To React To A Coworker Calling Themselves Dumb
Calmly agree with any grain of truth in a criticism without caving or counterattacking.
Fogging
- How To Respond To Team Mistakes
When someone brings you a problem or mistake, make your first move curiosity, not blame.
- How To Tell A Co Worker That I Feel Sorry For Something I Did
Say what you’ll do to make it right or prevent a repeat — not just that you feel bad.
Offer concrete repair
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