Coaching practices for Concession Before Feedback
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Concession Before Feedback, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- When I back down to my smaller request I just quietly slide into it like the big ask never happened
- The second someone suggests something, I’m already arguing back in my head
- I need to ask someone to change something, but the moment I lead with the criticism they go defensive and dig in
- I deliver my feedback as a finished verdict and then the other person just sits there closed off
- I’m walking into a negotiation and I want the other side to feel like meeting me halfway is their idea
Practices that may help
- Make the step-down visibly deliberate
A concession that is invisible or unexplained carries no reciprocity weight.
The Door-in-the-Face Technique, Made Practical - Receive every suggestion with only "thank you"
Accept all feedforward without debate, justification, or even agreement — just acknowledge and note.
Feedforward: Future-Focused Feedback That Actually Changes Behavior - Apply reciprocity in feedback conversations
Offer a genuine concession or acknowledgment of your own role before asking someone to change.
The Rule of Reciprocity, Made Practical - Invite a response after delivering SBI
Close SBI by asking what the other person makes of it — not with a verdict.
The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical - Use reciprocal concessions in negotiation
Make a large ask first; concede to your real ask — the concession feels like a gift.
The Rule of Reciprocity, Made Practical - Give feedback in the moment, not stockpiled for reviews
Feedback accumulated for a periodic review arrives late and in bulk — neither helps.
The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead - Choose the right moment and setting for feedback
Feedback lands in proportion to how safe and ready the receiver feels — timing and privacy matter.
The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical - Establish a no-argument rule in feedforward exchanges
In structured feedforward exchanges, neither party evaluates or debates the suggestions — only listens and notes.
Feedforward: Future-Focused Feedback That Actually Changes Behavior - The Feedback Sandwich: Why It Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead
The feedback sandwich (positive–negative–positive) is the dominant model for giving feedback in workplaces, but research and practitioner experience suggest it routinely fails: recipients either remember only the positive parts or dismiss the negative as softened insincerity. The practices below cover why it fails mechanistically and what specific alternatives are better supported. - Keep the same person making both requests
The door-in-the-face effect is substantially weaker when a different person makes the second ask.
The Door-in-the-Face Technique, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Feedback Best Practices
Ask "What did you take from that?" rather than "Do you agree?"
Close feedback by checking understanding, not agreement
- Feedback Dialogue
Close SBI by asking what the other person makes of it — not with a verdict.
Invite a response after delivering SBI
- Feedback Vs Feedforward
Feedforward, developed by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, replaces backward-looking critique with forward-looking suggestions — asking "what ideas do you have for the future?" rather than "what did I do wrong?" The core claim is that people are more receptive to ideas about what they could do than to judgments about what they did. Evidence is primarily clinical and practitioner-based rather than from controlled trials.
- Giving Feedforward
Feedforward, developed by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, replaces backward-looking critique with forward-looking suggestions — asking "what ideas do you have for the future?" rather than "what did I do wrong?" The core claim is that people are more receptive to ideas about what they could do than to judgments about what they did. Evidence is primarily clinical and practitioner-based rather than from controlled trials.
- How To Receive Pushback On Feedback
Close SBI by asking what the other person makes of it — not with a verdict.
- How To Start A Feedback Conversation
Close SBI by asking what the other person makes of it — not with a verdict.
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