Coaching practices for Epictetus on Criticism

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Epictetus on Criticism, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• One offhand remark or someone’s disapproval can hijack my whole mood for days, because somewhere I’ve made my sense of being okay depend on whether other people approve of me
• The same thing happened to someone else and it barely fazed them, while it’s wrecking me
• A thought slams into me
• Every time I review how I acted today I catch myself building a defense
• I’m pouring all my energy into things I can’t actually control

Practices that may help

1. Let go of others’ opinions of you
   Another’s contempt is their judgment, not your business; only your own conduct is yours to mind.
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
2. The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
   The Enchiridion ("handbook") is Epictetus’ compressed field manual for living: its master move is sorting what is up to you (your judgments, desires, and actions) from what is not (everything else), then training your assent so you respond to impressions instead of being yanked by them. Its strongest empirical support is the direct line from this control-and-appraisal logic into cognitive behavioral therapy.
3. It’s not things that disturb us
   “People are disturbed not by things, but by their judgments about things.”
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
4. Pause before you assent to an impression
   When a vivid impression hits, say "you are just an impression" before you believe it.
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
5. Seneca’s evening court — judge the day as an honest prosecutor
   Review the day as a fair judge would: what was the evidence, what was the verdict, what is the sentence?
   The Pythagorean Evening Review
6. The Dichotomy of Control: Epictetus’ Central Lesson
   The dichotomy of control is Epictetus’ foundational insight: some things are "up to us" (our judgments, desires, aversions, and voluntary actions) and some are not (outcomes, other people, the body, reputation, possessions). The Stoic claim is that emotional suffering arises almost entirely from attaching our well-being to things in the second category. This logic is the direct ancestor of cognitive behavioral therapy’s reappraisal techniques, which are among the best-supported tools in clinical psychology.
7. Sort what is up to you
   Epictetus’ first and central move: divide everything into what is in your power and what is not.
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
8. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
   Criticism puts people on the defensive and rarely produces lasting change.
   How to Win Friends and Influence People, Made Practical
9. Discipline desire and aversion
   Want only what’s up to you, and be averse only to what’s up to you — then you can’t be thwarted.
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
10. Feedback: extract the signal, ignore the noise
    Seek feedback fast, but use the part that actually tells you how to improve.
    Ultralearning: Aggressive, Self-Directed Learning

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