Coaching practices for Four Ts Autonomy

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Four Ts Autonomy, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every part of my day is dictated to me
• My people keep stopping to ask permission for small things they’re plainly capable of deciding, and every one of those check-ins slows everything down and quietly tells them I don’t trust them
• I keep deferring to what other people think is right and then feel hollow about decisions that were never really mine
• Going into this hard conversation I want it all at once
• I bend over backwards to be fair to everyone else and then quietly leave myself out of the equation entirely

Practices that may help

1. Increase autonomy over task, time, technique, and team
   Reclaim control over how you do the work — Pink’s "four T’s".
   Drive: Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose
2. Clarify what people can decide without asking
   Define the fence: what decisions can anyone on the team make without checking in?
   Delegation Levels, Made Practical
3. Develop your own compass for decisions
   Build a personal value system that guides decisions independently of social approval.
   Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory, Made Practical
4. FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
   FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
5. The Trust Triangle
   Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
6. Balance FAST with DEAR MAN when the relationship and the goal are both at stake
   Use DEAR MAN for what you want, GIVE for the relationship, and FAST for yourself — and know which to weight when they conflict.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
7. Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
   Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
8. Accessing Self
   Find the calm, curious, compassionate core from which healing leadership happens.
   Internal Family Systems (IFS), Made Practical
9. Give age-appropriate autonomy within non-negotiable limits
   Let the child choose within the boundaries you set — the choice builds competence; the boundary provides safety.
   Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
10. Shift from one-person to two-person psychology
    Stop managing your distress alone and start managing it together.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships

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