Coaching practices for Grief Balance
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Grief Balance, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I deal with my grief by doing and fixing rather than weeping, and everyone keeps treating that as cold or in denial
- The grief ambushes me at the worst times
- Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
- It’s been long enough that I can quietly admit something in me has shifted since they died
- I keep my head down and stay busy so I never actually feel the loss, and now it ambushes me at random and won’t metabolize
Practices that may help
- Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Create a deliberate grief window
Schedule bounded time to grieve, protecting both the grief process and the rest of life.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Treating grief as a form of gratitude
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things - Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical - Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Havening to soften acute grief activation
Use gentle touch and brief distraction to lower the physiological intensity of grief surges.
Self-Havening: Calming the Nervous System Through Touch - Identify how cultural norms shape your grief
Examine whether cultural scripts about how long and how much to grieve are shaping your experience.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Regulate the oscillation consciously
If you are spending too long in one orientation, deliberately shift to the other.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Identify and address secondary stressors
Name the practical, identity, and relational challenges the loss has created — and work on them as restoration.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Calming Grief Surge
Use gentle touch and brief distraction to lower the physiological intensity of grief surges.
Havening to soften acute grief activation
- Does Grief Go Away
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Treating grief as a form of gratitude
- Restoration Orientation Grief
Give yourself genuine permission to engage with ordinary life — this is restoration orientation, not avoidance.
Deliberately take time off from grief
- Assumptive World Grief
Identify which of your core beliefs about life, self, and the future the loss has challenged.
Map the assumptive world the loss disrupted
- Dpm Grieving Styles
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
- Dual Process Model Grief
The Dual Process Model (DPM), developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, describes healthy grief as oscillation between two orientations: loss-oriented (engaging with the pain of losing the person) and restoration-oriented (attending to the practical and identity challenges of life without them). The model is well-regarded in grief research and provides a framework for understanding why taking breaks from grief is healthy, not avoidant.
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