Coaching practices for How Can a Young Child Be Taught Not to Bully

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Can a Young Child Be Taught Not to Bully, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
• We keep having the exact same blow-up over the exact same thing, and I’m starting to wonder if my kid genuinely doesn’t know how to handle that moment any other way
• My kid won’t put on the coat, won’t pack the lunch, and every fiber of me wants to swoop in and save them from the small fallout
• My kid has started hiding mistakes and bracing like they’re in trouble before I’ve even said anything, and I think it’s because my first reaction to a spill or a broken thing is always the accusation
• The second I start correcting my kid they go straight into defense mode

Practices that may help

1. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
2. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
   Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
   Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
3. Allow natural consequences to do the teaching
   Step back and let the world respond — your child learns more from being cold than from being lectured about coats.
   Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
4. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
   Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
5. Connect before you correct
   A child who feels connected to you is far more receptive to your guidance than one who feels attacked.
   Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
6. Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
   Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
7. Refuse to energize negative behavior
   Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
   The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
8. Teach that Green is the goal, not the only acceptable zone
   All zones are normal; the goal is knowing which zone a situation calls for and how to get there.
   Zones of Regulation (Leah Kuypers)
9. Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
   A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
10. Hold limits calmly and consistently
    A limit only works if you follow through; an enforced limit with warmth is more effective than a threatened limit delivered with anger.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)

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