Coaching practices for How Do I Let Go of My Old Self

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Do I Let Go of My Old Self, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There are parts of me
  • I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
  • Every time I go to start over, this long history of all the times I quit rises up and whispers that I’m just someone who doesn’t follow through
  • The new way I’m trying to see myself only seems to hold when I’m alone with it
  • I hold on to everything all day long

Practices that may help

  1. The practice of self-acceptance
    Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  2. Cultivate authenticity
    Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  3. Frame the past self as a different person
    Deliberately separate "who you were" from "who you are choosing to be now."
    The Fresh Start Effect
  4. Definitional Ceremonies and Outsider Witnesses
    Invite meaningful others to witness and retell the new story — being known differently by others consolidates the new identity.
    Narrative Therapy: Rewriting the Stories That Define You
  5. Letting go as a moment-to-moment practice
    Make releasing — rather than gripping — your default response to whatever arises during the day.
    The Untethered Soul, In Practice
  6. Unburdening
    Help a part release the extreme beliefs and emotions it has been carrying.
    Internal Family Systems (IFS), Made Practical
  7. Update and revise possible selves over time
    Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  8. Applying anicca to the self-concept
    Notice that the "self" you identify with right now is a temporary configuration — different from who you were five years ago and who you will be.
    Anicca: Working Practically with Impermanence
  9. Practice loosening identification with the ego-self
    Train the capacity to observe your thoughts, feelings, and roles without completely being them.
    The Perennial Philosophy, Made Practical
  10. Self-as-context (the observing self)
    Notice the steady "you" that observes thoughts and feelings without being defined by them.
    Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical

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