Coaching practices for How to Get Over Someone You Love

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Get Over Someone You Love, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• My partner has become so much a part of the furniture of my life that I barely register them anymore, and I catch myself being short or distracted
• I love the people closest to me but I move through whole days barely seeing them, like they’ve faded into the background
• Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
• I’m half-listening to the people I love most because they’re always around
• People keep telling me I need to let them go and move on, and everything in me refuses

Practices that may help

1. Imagine the absence of a key relationship
   Vividly imagine your life without a person you love — specifically, in detail, what would be missing.
   Negative Visualization for Gratitude: The Stoic Path to Appreciation
2. Imagine the absence of someone you love
   Briefly picture life without a person you love, then return to their actual presence.
   Negative Visualization, the Stoic Practice
3. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
   When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
   Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things
4. The last conversation
   Enter a conversation with someone you love as if it might be the last one you have with them.
   The Last Time Meditation
5. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
   Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
   Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
6. Discovering and acting on each other’s languages
   Find out — by asking and observing — how each partner most readily feels loved, then act on it.
   The Five Love Languages, Honestly
7. Contemplation of impermanence
   Hold steadily that everything you have — including the people you love — is on loan and temporary.
   Premeditatio Malorum, in Depth
8. Use love as an experiential meaning anchor
   Identify the person or being whose love gives your life the clearest felt meaning — and return to that anchor when meaning is lowest.
   Frankl’s Three Sources of Meaning
9. Acts of service
   Show love by doing things that ease your partner’s load — chores, errands, follow-through.
   The Five Love Languages, Honestly
10. Build a culture of genuine appreciation as a horsemen antidote
    Daily authentic appreciation is the structural counter to contempt -- and it has to precede the conflict.
    The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown

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