Coaching practices for How to Get Over Someone You Love and Have Kids with

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Get Over Someone You Love and Have Kids with, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• After a blow-up with my kid we both stay frozen and far apart, and I keep trying to talk it through, to get an apology, while the distance just drags on
• The storm has finally passed and my kid is calm again, and I keep wanting to either just move on or fix the situation for them
• After the baby, the move, the hard year, we just quietly stopped reaching for each other
• My partner has become so much a part of the furniture of my life that I barely register them anymore, and I catch myself being short or distracted
• I love the people closest to me but I move through whole days barely seeing them, like they’ve faded into the background

Practices that may help

1. Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
   Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
2. Problem-solve together once the child is calm
   After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
   Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
3. Rekindling after a drift: returning to aliveness
   Recognize a drift in erotic connection as normal — and name it as the beginning of a renewal, not a failure.
   Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
4. Imagine the absence of a key relationship
   Vividly imagine your life without a person you love — specifically, in detail, what would be missing.
   Negative Visualization for Gratitude: The Stoic Path to Appreciation
5. Imagine the absence of someone you love
   Briefly picture life without a person you love, then return to their actual presence.
   Negative Visualization, the Stoic Practice
6. Dialogue with perpetual problems
   Accept that most conflicts are unsolvable, and learn to discuss them without gridlock.
   The Gottman Method, Made Practical
7. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
   Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
   Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
8. Do novel, moderately challenging activities together
   New and slightly difficult shared experiences restore the self-expansion that keeps closeness alive.
   Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
9. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
10. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
    When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
    Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things

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