Coaching practices for How to Move on From Conflict
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Move on From Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- We survive the fight and then just move on like it never happened, so the same argument keeps coming back
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- There’s a problem I keep not bringing up
- After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab
Practices that may help
- Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative)
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Repair quickly and thoroughly
Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Responding to conflict without escalation
In a conflict, address the problem without attacking the person.
Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice - FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Protect fondness actively during and after conflict
Conflict is the test of PSO — deliberately hold the positive frame while the negative one is loudest.
Positive Sentiment Override: How to Build the Lens That Protects Relationships - Use Avoiding strategically, not reflexively
Avoiding has a real place — but only when the issue is trivial, the timing is wrong, or cooling down is necessary.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Build a shared repair vocabulary
Agree on repair phrases in advance so both partners recognize them when they land mid-conflict.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
Related concerns
- Avoid Absolutes In Conflict
Absolute language triggers defensiveness and is almost never literally accurate.
Eliminate "always" and "never" from complaint language
- Avoiding Conflict
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative)
- How Do Avoidants Deal With Conflict
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
- How Do I Deal With Conflict
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
- How Do I Stop Avoiding Conflicts In Any Possible Way
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
- How Do You Deal With Conflict In A Relationship
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
Transform the relationship, not just the issue
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