Coaching practices for How to Move on From Infidelity in Marriage

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Move on From Infidelity in Marriage, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

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• I keep telling myself to just move past what they did and not make a big deal of it, so I never actually look the hurt in the face
• After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab
• I genuinely reached a moment where I felt I’d forgiven them, but the feeling faded and the hurt crept back, and now I’m not even sure it counted
• We survive the fight and then just move on like it never happened, so the same argument keeps coming back
• After the baby, the move, the hard year, we just quietly stopped reaching for each other

Practices that may help

1. R — Recall the hurt
   Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
2. Repair quickly and thoroughly
   Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
3. C — Commit publicly to the forgiveness you felt
   Mark the forgiveness concretely — write it, say it, date it — so you can return to it later.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
4. Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
   The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
   Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
5. Rekindling after a drift: returning to aliveness
   Recognize a drift in erotic connection as normal — and name it as the beginning of a renewal, not a failure.
   Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
6. H — Hold on when the hurt comes back
   When resentment returns, don’t take it as proof you failed — recall your commitment and re-choose.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
7. Repair specifically when you were the one who caused harm
   A real apology names what you did, why it hurt, and what you will do differently -- not just I am sorry.
   Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
8. Repair explicitly after each cycle episode
   Every cycle episode needs a deliberate closing repair — not just the fight ending.
   The Pursuer-Withdrawer Cycle, Explained
9. Separate forgiving from reconciling
   Forgiveness is internal and unilateral; reconciliation requires the other person to become trustworthy again.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
10. Repair an attachment injury
    Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair

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