Coaching practices for How to Move on From Betrayal in a Relationship

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Move on From Betrayal in a Relationship, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I keep telling myself to just move past what they did and not make a big deal of it, so I never actually look the hurt in the face
• There was one moment when I needed them most
• After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab
• I won’t forgive this person because forgiving feels like it means letting them back into my life, and they’re not safe
• I genuinely reached a moment where I felt I’d forgiven them, but the feeling faded and the hurt crept back, and now I’m not even sure it counted

Practices that may help

1. R — Recall the hurt
   Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
2. Repair an attachment injury
   Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
   Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
3. Repair quickly and thoroughly
   Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
4. Separate forgiving from reconciling
   Forgiveness is internal and unilateral; reconciliation requires the other person to become trustworthy again.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
5. C — Commit publicly to the forgiveness you felt
   Mark the forgiveness concretely — write it, say it, date it — so you can return to it later.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
6. Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
   Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
7. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
8. Revisit a hurtful moment -- and repair it
   Going back to a painful past moment together, with new understanding, is how attachment injuries heal.
   Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
9. Create and protect the couple bubble
   Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
10. H — Hold on when the hurt comes back
    When resentment returns, don’t take it as proof you failed — recall your commitment and re-choose.
    Forgiveness: The REACH Model

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