Coaching practices for How to Get Over Infidelity in a Relationship

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Get Over Infidelity in a Relationship, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab
• There was one moment when I needed them most
• I keep telling myself to just move past what they did and not make a big deal of it, so I never actually look the hurt in the face
• I genuinely reached a moment where I felt I’d forgiven them, but the feeling faded and the hurt crept back, and now I’m not even sure it counted
• We survive the fight and then just move on like it never happened, so the same argument keeps coming back

Practices that may help

1. Repair quickly and thoroughly
   Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
2. Repair an attachment injury
   Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
   Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
3. R — Recall the hurt
   Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
4. C — Commit publicly to the forgiveness you felt
   Mark the forgiveness concretely — write it, say it, date it — so you can return to it later.
   Forgiveness: The REACH Model
5. Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
   The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
   Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
6. Build a culture of genuine appreciation as a horsemen antidote
   Daily authentic appreciation is the structural counter to contempt -- and it has to precede the conflict.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
7. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
8. Actively restore the ratio after a major rupture
   After a bad fight, the ratio is temporarily negative -- restoration requires intentional positive investment.
   The Magic Relationship Ratio: Gottman's 5-to-1 Principle
9. Interrupt contempt -- the relationship's single most corrosive pattern
   Contempt -- moral superiority, mockery, eye-rolling -- is the strongest predictor of relationship breakdown.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
10. Revisit a hurtful moment -- and repair it
    Going back to a painful past moment together, with new understanding, is how attachment injuries heal.
    Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love

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