Coaching practices for How to Read the Other Side

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Read the Other Side, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• The other side is being guarded and giving me almost nothing to work with, and I can’t tell what they actually want or what’s really holding them back
• I can’t get a read on what the other side actually cares about most
• Going into this negotiation I have no real read on how much the other side actually needs the deal versus how easily they could walk
• They’re acting like they can take it or leave it and it’s making me cave
• I wave through arguments on my side that I’d tear apart in a heartbeat if the other side made them

Practices that may help

1. Mirroring
   Repeat the last few words the other person said, as a question, then go silent.
   Never Split the Difference, In Practice
2. Make multiple equivalent simultaneous offers (MESOs)
   Propose several package deals of equal value to you — see which the other side prefers.
   Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
3. Ask what happens if there is no deal
   Surface the other side’s BATNA by asking what they do if this does not work out.
   Calibrated Questions, Made Practical
4. Estimate your counterpart’s BATNA
   Understanding what the other side will do if there’s no deal tells you where their pressure is — and how much room you have.
   BATNA: Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
5. Apply the double-standard check: would I accept this reasoning if it pointed the other way?
   Test whether you are holding your team’s arguments to a lower bar than the other side’s.
   The Scout Mindset
6. Run a negotiation debrief to learn what value was left on the table
   After closing, compare priorities with the other side to see the trades you both missed.
   Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference
7. Lead with tactical empathy
   Understand and voice the other side’s perspective before you ever advance your own.
   Never Split the Difference, In Practice
8. Read one section at a time with full attention
   Read one section completely before moving on — no skipping ahead to "get through it."
   The SQ3R Method for Active Reading
9. Practicing lectio divina in community
   Let others’ resonances open the text to dimensions your solo reading would miss.
   Lectio Divina: Sacred Reading
10. Probe for interests, not positions
    Ask why the other side wants what they say they want before responding to what they say.
    Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference

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