Coaching practices for How to Repair Broken Trust

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Repair Broken Trust, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Trust with this person has cracked and I just keep apologizing for "not being trustworthy" in this big vague way
• Something’s damaged my trust in them but I can’t bring myself to just say so, so instead I quietly pull back, vent to other people, and let it fester
• To smooth things over I say "sounds good," "I’m fine with it," "I understand" when none of it is actually true
• Even after we patch things up, every new conflict still feels like it could be the one that ends us
• After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab

Practices that may help

1. Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
   Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
   The Trust Triangle
2. Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
   Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
   The Trust Triangle
3. Build sincerity by saying only what you mean
   Only make commitments and assertions you actually believe — and retract the ones you don’t.
   The Trust Triangle
4. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
5. Repair quickly and thoroughly
   Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
6. The Trust Triangle
   Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
7. Offer concrete repair
   Say what you’ll do to make it right or prevent a repeat — not just that you feel bad.
   The Art of Apology
8. Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
   Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
9. Involve the affected community, not just the two parties
   Harm rarely affects only two people — include those affected by the ripple.
   Restorative Justice (Howard Zehr)
10. Rupture and Repair
    Ruptures — the inevitable misattunements, conflicts, and disconnections in any close relationship — are normal and unavoidable; what builds security is reliable repair afterward. Research from infant still-face studies, couples work, and psychotherapy all converges on the same finding: relationships are not made secure by avoiding rupture but by the predictable experience that disconnection can be named and reconnected.

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