Coaching practices for Identity After Bereavement

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Identity After Bereavement, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • So much of who I was lived in being their wife, their caregiver, the one they called
  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on
  • Nobody in my life gets this kind of loss, and I’m starting to ache for even one person who’s been through the exact same thing and wouldn’t need me to explain why it matters.
  • I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be this wrecked when other people have lost so much more
  • I’ve kept this loss a secret because I’m bracing for someone to brush it off, but holding it in is its own weight

Practices that may help

  1. Reconstruct your identity post-loss
    Actively develop the new self that emerges when a core relationship or role is gone.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  2. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  3. Find a community that recognises your specific loss
    Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  4. Validate your own grief without waiting for external permission
    Give yourself the recognition that society has withheld — your loss is real because it matters to you.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  5. Practice speaking about the loss to people outside your immediate circle
    Gradually widen the circle of people who know about the loss and can offer recognition.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  6. Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
    Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  7. Name the loss and its disenfranchisement explicitly
    Say directly what was lost and that others may not recognise its significance — to yourself first.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  8. Share the continuing bond in community
    Talk about the person with others who knew and loved them, keeping the relationship alive in shared memory.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  9. Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
    Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  10. Articulate the person’s life imprint on you
    Describe specifically how the person changed who you are — and carry that forward explicitly.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical

Related concerns

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