Coaching practices for Judgments of Learning Why You Misjudge What You Ve Learned as a Parent

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I flip the flashcard over, see the answer, and instantly think "yeah, I totally knew that"
  • A choice I made blew up and I’m tearing into myself
  • The same misbehavior keeps coming back no matter what I do about it, and I’m starting to suspect I’m only swatting at the surface
  • I beat myself up over a call that went badly even though it was reasonable with what I knew, and I pat myself on the back for a reckless one that happened to work
  • We keep having the exact same blow-up over the exact same thing, and I’m starting to wonder if my kid genuinely doesn’t know how to handle that moment any other way

Practices that may help

  1. Judgments of Learning: Why You Misjudge What You’ve Learned
    Judgments of learning (JOLs) are in-the-moment predictions about how well information will be remembered later. Thomas Nelson’s research showed JOLs are often inaccurate — biased upward by current processing fluency — causing learners to declare items "learned" prematurely and under-study material they will later forget. Delayed JOLs and retrieval-based checks produce more accurate predictions and better study-time allocation.
  2. Commitment-forcing before feedback
    Write a definite answer and confidence rating before seeing correct feedback — never the reverse.
    Judgments of Learning: Why You Misjudge What You’ve Learned
  3. Evaluate decisions by process, not outcome
    Judge a decision by the quality of the reasoning at the time, not by what happened.
    Hindsight Bias: Why Everything Seems Obvious in Retrospect
  4. Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
    Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  5. Score decision quality separately from outcome quality
    Judge the process you used — not whether it worked — when you review a past decision.
    Decision Journaling: Learning to Decide Better Over Time
  6. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
    Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
    Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
  7. Global vs. local JOL separation
    Rate individual items separately from your general sense of "how the session went" — they diverge.
    Judgments of Learning: Why You Misjudge What You’ve Learned
  8. Delayed judgment of learning
    Wait several minutes after study before rating how well you will remember — early ratings are systematically too high.
    Judgments of Learning: Why You Misjudge What You’ve Learned
  9. Use the performance-feedback loop without Self 1
    Treat every outcome as information, not a verdict — adjust without judging.
    The Inner Game: Quieting Self 1
  10. Separate the quality of the decision from the outcome
    A good decision can produce a bad outcome, and a bad decision can produce a good outcome — do not confuse them.
    Thinking in Bets

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