Coaching practices for Let Emotions Be

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Let Emotions Be, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When a big feeling crashes over me it’s like I become it
  • I try to keep the emotion out and stay reasonable, but it never actually stays out
  • I feel the jealousy or the hurt and then immediately pile on a second layer of "I shouldn’t feel this, a mature person wouldn’t"
  • A feeling slams into me and I have no idea where it came from or why it’s this big
  • When a big emotion hits, it becomes the whole world

Practices that may help

  1. Mindfulness of the current emotion
    Observe the emotion as a wave passing through — without judging it, feeding it, or running from it.
    DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
  2. Bring feelings into the conversation deliberately
    Name the emotions instead of leaking them — unspoken feelings don’t leave, they distort.
    Difficult Conversations, Made Practical
  3. Give yourself permission to feel
    Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
    Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
  4. Understand the function of the emotion
    Every emotion evolved because it does something useful — learn what yours is trying to do.
    DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
  5. Recognize aware presence within strong emotion
    When a strong emotion arises, shift to noticing the awareness in which the emotion appears rather than being swept by it.
    Non-Dual Awareness, Made Practical
  6. O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
    After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
    The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments
  7. RAIN — Allow the experience to be here
    Let the feeling exist as it is for a moment, without pushing it away or feeding it.
    Radical Acceptance, Made Practical
  8. Red hat: name the emotions without justifying them
    Give feelings a legitimate place in the discussion — the red hat makes emotional data explicit so it stops running covertly.
    Six Thinking Hats, Made Practical
  9. Walk your why — act from values, not from mood
    Choose your response based on what matters to you, not on what the emotion is demanding.
    Emotional Agility, Made Practical
  10. Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
    Naming and honestly expressing what you feel — rather than suppressing, masking, or performing emotions — is linked to lower physiological stress, better relationships, and more effective self-regulation. Decades of research on expressive writing and emotional disclosure support the general principle, though effects are modest and depend heavily on how disclosure is done.

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