Coaching practices for Loss Orientation Grief
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Loss Orientation Grief, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I keep my head down and stay busy so I never actually feel the loss, and now it ambushes me at random and won’t metabolize
- I deal with my grief by doing and fixing rather than weeping, and everyone keeps treating that as cold or in denial
- Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
- It’s not just the missing them
- I laughed at something today and immediately felt like a traitor
Practices that may help
- Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Treating grief as a form of gratitude
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things - Identify and address secondary stressors
Name the practical, identity, and relational challenges the loss has created — and work on them as restoration.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Deliberately take time off from grief
Give yourself genuine permission to engage with ordinary life — this is restoration orientation, not avoidance.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Recognise when loss is ambiguous, not just unacknowledged
Some losses have no clear end point — a relationship that faded, a parent with dementia, a country left behind.
Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical - Regulate the oscillation consciously
If you are spending too long in one orientation, deliberately shift to the other.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Zoom out from the single loss to the aggregate
A loss looks catastrophic in isolation and trivial across the whole portfolio of your life.
Loss Aversion, Made Practical - Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Restoration Orientation Grief
Give yourself genuine permission to engage with ordinary life — this is restoration orientation, not avoidance.
Deliberately take time off from grief
- Dual Process Model Grief
The Dual Process Model (DPM), developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, describes healthy grief as oscillation between two orientations: loss-oriented (engaging with the pain of losing the person) and restoration-oriented (attending to the practical and identity challenges of life without them). The model is well-regarded in grief research and provides a framework for understanding why taking breaks from grief is healthy, not avoidant.
- Grief Balance
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
- The Dual Process Model Of Grief With Friends
The Dual Process Model (DPM), developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, describes healthy grief as oscillation between two orientations: loss-oriented (engaging with the pain of losing the person) and restoration-oriented (attending to the practical and identity challenges of life without them). The model is well-regarded in grief research and provides a framework for understanding why taking breaks from grief is healthy, not avoidant.
- Active Grief Processing
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
- Anicca And Grief
When grieving a loss, ground the experience in the insight that what ended was always impermanent — and that grief itself is impermanent.
Integrating loss through the lens of anicca
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.