Coaching practices for Matthew Sanders Parenting

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Matthew Sanders Parenting, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
• I careen between cracking down like a drill sergeant and then feeling guilty and just letting everything slide, and my kid never knows which version of me they’re getting
• My kid has started hiding mistakes and bracing like they’re in trouble before I’ve even said anything, and I think it’s because my first reaction to a spill or a broken thing is always the accusation
• My child can’t seem to name what they’re feeling
• My kid only seems to come at me when they want something or when they’re acting out, and I realize the only time I really pay full attention is when I’m correcting them

Practices that may help

1. Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
   Triple P — Positive Parenting Program — is a multilevel evidence-based parenting support system developed by Matthew Sanders at the University of Queensland. It teaches positive relationship skills, proactive management strategies, and calm responses to misbehavior. Multiple meta-analyses and RCTs support its effectiveness for reducing child behavior problems and parent stress, making it one of the most rigorously evaluated parenting programs in the world.
2. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
3. Provide warmth and structure simultaneously
   Children need to know they are loved and to know what is expected — these work together, not against each other.
   Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
4. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
   Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
5. The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
   Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's Whole-Brain Child framework draws on neuroscience to explain why children behave as they do and offers strategies that work with the developing brain rather than against it. The core insight is that children's emotional storms reflect genuine neurological immaturity — particularly in the prefrontal cortex — not moral deficiency. The practices are clinically endorsed and mechanistically grounded; RCTs of the Whole-Brain Child program specifically are limited.
6. Build mindsight by reflecting inner experience
   Describe your own inner experience in everyday conversation to build the child’s "mind-seeing" capacity.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
7. Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
   Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
8. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
   Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
9. Manage your own emotional state before responding
   A regulated parent is the single most powerful behavior management tool available.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
10. Become aware of your own emotional reactions first
    A parent who is flooded by their child’s distress cannot coach it — self-awareness is the prerequisite.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)

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