Coaching practices for Oblique Strategies as a Parent
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Oblique Strategies as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- There are a few situations that go badly every single time
- Every time I put my foot down and insist, my kid blows up worse
- I lay down a rule and my kids ignore it because it’s "my" rule they had no say in
- Even when I sit down to play with my kid I catch myself steering it
Practices that may help
- Oblique Strategies, Made Practical
Oblique Strategies is a deck of constraint-based prompts created by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt to interrupt habitual thinking during creative blocks. The prompts work by forcing an indirect, unexpected approach to a problem rather than attacking it head-on. Evidence for constraint-based creativity is solid in cognitive research; the specific deck is widely used in music, design, and writing with strong anecdotal support. - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Plan behavior management strategies in advance
Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Use the bullseye to resolve competing values
When two values pull in different directions, the bullseye shows you which domain is most neglected and most in need of attention.
Values Bullseye, Made Practical - Give clear, calm, single instructions
One specific direction at a time, calmly stated once, is more effective than repeated commands.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson) - Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
Related concerns
- Oblique Strategies For My Teenager
Oblique Strategies is a deck of constraint-based prompts created by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt to interrupt habitual thinking during creative blocks. The prompts work by forcing an indirect, unexpected approach to a problem rather than attacking it head-on. Evidence for constraint-based creativity is solid in cognitive research; the specific deck is widely used in music, design, and writing with strong anecdotal support.
- At What Age Should A Child Stop Accompanying A Parent Into The Wrong Public Toilet
Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
- Choice Architecture As A Parent
Choice architecture — the arrangement of options in a decision environment — powerfully biases outcomes through default effects, ordering, salience, and framing. Thaler and Sunstein showed this is true whether or not anyone designed it deliberately, which means you can redesign your environment to bias yourself toward better choices.
- Disc Behavioral Styles As A Parent
Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
- How Do I Handle When My Step Kids Parent Buys Them Everything They Want
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Use family meetings to solve problems together
- Proactive Parenting Strategy
Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
Plan behavior management strategies in advance
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