Coaching practices for Owning Your Flaws

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Owning Your Flaws, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I hold myself to a standard of basically never making mistakes, so every ordinary slip-up feels like a defect in me
  • There are parts of me
  • I keep waiting for someone else to fix my situation or change so things get better
  • We’re both waiting for the other to admit their part first, so nothing moves
  • Everyone else seems to have it together and I’m the only one who keeps messing this up

Practices that may help

  1. Practice deliberate acceptance of human fallibility
    Regularly remind yourself that being imperfect is not a character flaw — it is the nature of being human.
    Unconditional Self-Acceptance
  2. The practice of self-acceptance
    Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  3. The practice of self-responsibility
    Own that you are the author of your choices, actions, and the fulfillment of your wants.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
  4. Own your share of the rupture
    Name your specific contribution to the break — without making it a competition over who was worse.
    Rupture and Repair
  5. Invoke common humanity in a moment of shame
    When you feel like a uniquely pathetic failure, remind yourself this is shared human experience.
    Working With Your Inner Critic
  6. Name and wrestle with your besetting weakness
    Identify the one recurring moral failure and choose a practice that confronts it daily.
    The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
  7. Recall how little you notice others
    Inventory how often you notice strangers’ flaws — then apply that rate to yourself.
    The Spotlight Effect: Why You Think Everyone Is Watching
  8. Apply the razor to yourself
    Extend to your own past actions the same charitable interpretation you give others.
    Hanlon's Razor: Never Attribute to Malice What Stupidity Can Explain
  9. Practice self-compassion
    Respond to your own imperfection with the kindness you’d offer a friend, not harsh judgment.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  10. Own mistakes promptly and without over-explanation
    A fast, clean acknowledgment of error lands better than a slow, elaborate defense.
    The Pratfall Effect, Made Practical

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