Coaching practices for Possible Selves as a Parent
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Possible Selves as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I can almost hear my older self looking back at the choices I’m making right now, and I’m scared it’s with regret
- The future I want for myself feels so out of reach that part of me has filed it under "people like me don’t get there"
- I’m standing at a real fork right now and going in circles
- The inspiring vision of who I want to be gets me fired up for a day or two and then quietly fades
- I’m still grinding toward a version of "successful me" I dreamed up years ago, and it’s stopped lighting me up
Practices that may help
- Possible Selves, Made Practical
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation. - Write a letter from your future self to your present self
Ask your 70-year-old self to write back to you now — with gratitude or regret.
Future Self Continuity, Made Practical - Find living examples of your hoped-for self
Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Filter decisions through "what would future me thank me for?"
Before significant decisions, ask whether your future self will be grateful or resentful.
Future Self Continuity, Made Practical - Pair the hoped-for self with a feared counterpart
Identify the feared version of your future self in the same domain — the pairing produces more sustained motivation than hope alone.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Update and revise possible selves over time
Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
Possible Selves, Made Practical - Write a letter from your future self
Have your 80-year-old self write back about the decision you’re facing now.
The Regret-Minimization Framework - Plan behavior management strategies in advance
Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Empathy for future generations
Actively imagine the lives of people who will inhabit the world your choices are building.
The Good Ancestor: Long-Path Thinking for a Meaningful Life - Vividly visualize your future self in concrete detail
The more specific and sensory your image of your future self, the less you discount their wellbeing.
Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Possible Selves For My Teenager
Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
Find living examples of your hoped-for self
- Possible Selves Revision
Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
Update and revise possible selves over time
- Possible Selves As A Caregiver
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
- Possible Selves During A Big Change
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
- Possible Selves Elaboration
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
- Possible Selves Pairing
Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
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