Coaching practices for Possible Selves for My Teenager

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Possible Selves for My Teenager, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The future I want for myself feels so out of reach that part of me has filed it under "people like me don’t get there"
  • I can almost hear my older self looking back at the choices I’m making right now, and I’m scared it’s with regret
  • I’ve tried that "imagine your future self" thing but the older me stays a vague stranger I feel nothing for, so it changes nothing
  • I’m still grinding toward a version of "successful me" I dreamed up years ago, and it’s stopped lighting me up
  • I’ve got this clear, vivid picture of the person I want to become, and I love daydreaming about them

Practices that may help

  1. Find living examples of your hoped-for self
    Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  2. Possible Selves, Made Practical
    Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
  3. Write a letter from your future self to your present self
    Ask your 70-year-old self to write back to you now — with gratitude or regret.
    Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
  4. Write a letter from your future self
    Have your 80-year-old self write back about the decision you’re facing now.
    The Regret-Minimization Framework
  5. Update and revise possible selves over time
    Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  6. Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
    Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  7. Pair the hoped-for self with a feared counterpart
    Identify the feared version of your future self in the same domain — the pairing produces more sustained motivation than hope alone.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  8. Write vivid imagined future scenes
    Extend your life story into the future with specific, felt scenes — not just goals.
    Narrative Identity, Made Practical
  9. Vividly visualize your future self in concrete detail
    The more specific and sensory your image of your future self, the less you discount their wellbeing.
    Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
  10. Consult your future self
    Imagine your wiser future self looking back on this moment, and ask what they’d want you to do.
    Self-Distancing: Thinking Clearly About Your Own Problems

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