Coaching practices for Rain Meditation Tara Brach S Four Step Practice After a Loss

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When I finally work through a hard feeling I rush straight back into doing and it all snaps shut again
  • Something just got to me in the middle of my day and I can feel myself reacting, but I’ve only got a couple of minutes before I have to keep going
  • Whatever I’m feeling, I pile on top of it
  • Something I built my life around has ended
  • Since I started sitting in silence, old buried feelings and memories keep welling up during and after, and it unnerves me

Practices that may help

  1. RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
    RAIN is a four-step mindfulness practice developed by Tara Brach that stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. It is designed to meet difficult emotions — fear, shame, grief, anger — with mindful awareness rather than avoidance or overwhelm. The steps draw on mechanisms shared with acceptance-based therapies (ACT, MSC, MBCT); the RAIN sequence itself is practitioner-developed and not yet independently trialed as a protocol.
  2. After RAIN: resting in natural, open awareness
    After the four steps, rest in the open awareness that remains — not returning immediately to doing.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  3. Mini-RAIN: a 2-minute version for mid-day use
    Apply the four steps rapidly in 2 minutes to break emotional reactivity in the middle of a difficult moment.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  4. N — Nurture with self-compassion
    Offer the part that is suffering what it most needs — care, acknowledgment, reassurance — as you would a dear friend.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  5. Reframing loss as transformation
    When something ends or is lost, practise asking what it is becoming rather than only mourning what it was.
    Zhuangzi and the Practice of Perspective Shift
  6. Radical Acceptance, Made Practical
    Radical acceptance, taught by Tara Brach and rooted in dialectical behavior therapy, means fully acknowledging reality as it is — including pain you cannot change — instead of fighting it. The point is not approval or giving up; it is to stop the extra suffering that resistance adds on top of the original pain. Acceptance-based skills are well-established in clinical practice (DBT, ACT); RAIN is a practitioner framework for applying them.
  7. Allowing the "divine therapy" — psychological healing through practice
    Expect that regular centering prayer surfaces buried emotional material, and allow it.
    Centering Prayer: The Method of Thomas Keating
  8. Hold impermanence without grief
    Practice keeping the awareness of impermanence in the background — not a meditation on loss but a light on presence.
    The Last Time Meditation
  9. Practice tonglen for your own suffering first
    Use your own current pain as the object before extending the practice to others.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
  10. The self-compassion break
    A three-step phrase you say in a hard moment: this is suffering, suffering is human, may I be kind to myself.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical

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