Coaching practices for Self Orientation Trust
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Self Orientation Trust, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’m competent and I deliver, but people still hold me at arm’s length
- I won’t hand anyone real responsibility until they’ve completely proven themselves first
- I do genuinely have their back, but I assume they just know it, so I never actually show it
- I keep everything at work behind a polished, guarded front
- There’s an area of my life
Practices that may help
- Audit and reduce your self-orientation
Self-orientation is the denominator: a small increase in it wipes out gains in all three numerator variables.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - The Trust Equation, Made Practical
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook. - Extend trust deliberately to invite it
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
The Trust Triangle - Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
The Trust Triangle - Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - The practice of living consciously
Bring awareness to what you are doing and seeing, rather than acting on autopilot or avoidance.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Earn the right to deepen the relationship in stages
Trust compounds over time — start with technical credibility and expand into intimacy as it is earned.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - Invest in the relationship before you need it
Build relational credit through reliability and initiative, not charm or performance alone.
Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical - Develop your own compass for decisions
Build a personal value system that guides decisions independently of social approval.
Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory, Made Practical
Related concerns
- The Trust Equation As A Caregiver
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook.
- The Trust Triangle In A New Job
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle When Starting Out
Trust compounds over time — start with technical credibility and expand into intimacy as it is earned.
Earn the right to deepen the relationship in stages
- Trust Performance Data
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook.
- Care Dimension Of Trust
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
- Competence Trust Building
Name what you can do, what you can’t, and what you’ll need to learn — before you are found out.
Be transparent about your competence limits
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