Extend trust deliberately to invite it

Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.

Why it works

Feltman also defines distrust: the decision to not rely on another’s sincerity, reliability, competence, or care. Trust cannot be demanded, only invited — and it is built by extending it first in low-stakes situations, providing the other person the opportunity to demonstrate trustworthiness. Demanding full trust before any extension is a self-fulfilling trap: neither party can demonstrate they’re worthy of it.

How to do it

1. Identify a low-stakes situation where you can extend trust that you would normally withhold: delegate a task, share an opinion, or take someone at their word.
2. Make the extension visible: "I’m going to trust you with this — I’ll let you run it."
3. Notice whether the trust is honored and update your assessment accordingly rather than reverting to baseline distrust.
4. Escalate the level of trust you extend as evidence accumulates — don’t stay locked at the starting level.

Evidence

Initial trust extension and its reciprocation are well documented in social exchange and game-theory research; extending trust creates the conditions in which trustworthiness can be demonstrated and the trust cycle begins. (observational)

Trust extension carries risk; the calibration of how much to extend in which situations requires judgment. Extending too much trust too fast leaves one vulnerable; too little leaves trust perpetually frozen.

Sources

• Mayer, Davis & Schoorman (1995), an integrative model of organizational trust, Academy of Management Review

Common mistake

Waiting for someone to "earn" full trust before extending any — which makes trust impossible to build in new relationships or after a rupture.