Coaching practices for The Feynman Technique Step by Step During Conflict

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Feynman Technique Step by Step During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
• The second things get tense I snap into the same move every time without choosing it
• The same fight with this person spirals every single time
• The moment an argument heats up I either shut down and flee or cave just to make it stop
• We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically

Practices that may help

1. The Feynman Technique, Step by Step
   The Feynman Technique is a four-step loop: pick a concept, explain it in plain language as if teaching a beginner, notice exactly where the explanation breaks down, and go back to fill those gaps. It works because explaining forces you to generate and retrieve the material, which exposes the difference between recognizing an idea and actually understanding it.
2. Separate the person from the problem
   Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
   The Third Alternative, Made Practical
3. Identify your default conflict mode
   Before you can choose a mode, you have to know which one you use automatically.
   The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
4. Responding to conflict without escalation
   In a conflict, address the problem without attacking the person.
   Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
5. Use fierce self-compassion to stay in hard conversations
   Stay present in conflict by meeting your own distress with compassion, so you don't flee or attack.
   Fierce Self-Compassion, Made Practical
6. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
   Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
   The Third Alternative, Made Practical
7. Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
   Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
   The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
8. Use the horsemen as an early-warning system, not only a post-mortem
   Notice which horseman is present in the first 60 seconds of a conflict and intervene before it escalates.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
9. Take their perspective accurately
   Build a precise model of how the situation looks from their side, not a caricature.
   Tactical Empathy
10. Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative)
    Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles

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