Coaching practices for The Gifts of Imperfection During a Big Change

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When I mess up I tear into myself in a way I’d never speak to anyone I love
  • I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
  • I’m in the middle of something genuinely hard that won’t lift, and I’m so tired of pretending it’s a blessing in disguise
  • My partner is going through a huge change right now
  • Since I nearly lost it all, the small ordinary things I used to walk right past

Practices that may help

  1. The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
    Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection argues that a sense of worthiness comes not from being perfect but from embracing imperfection — through authenticity, self-compassion, and what she calls wholehearted living. The book’s guideposts come from grounded-theory analysis of qualitative interviews, so they are well-developed patterns from lived experience rather than experimentally proven steps.
  2. Practice self-compassion
    Respond to your own imperfection with the kindness you’d offer a friend, not harsh judgment.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  3. Cultivate authenticity
    Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  4. Embracing Discomfort: Turning Resistance Into Growth
    Embracing discomfort means deliberately moving toward difficult feelings and challenging situations rather than away from them — not because suffering is good, but because avoidance is the primary mechanism that keeps people stuck. Graded approaches, reappraisal, and acceptance-based methods all show meaningful effects; the key is distinguishing productive discomfort from unsustainable strain.
  5. Find one thing to appreciate in a current difficulty
    Without toxic positivity, identify one genuine gift — skill, relationship, or insight — inside a current struggle.
    Counting Blessings: The Psychology of Grateful Reflection
  6. Update your love map after major life changes
    When life shifts, assume your map is outdated and ask new questions.
    Love Maps: Knowing Your Partner's Inner World
  7. Domain 5 — Renewed appreciation of life
    Adversity can sharpen attention to small goods and reorder what you treat as important.
    Post-Traumatic Growth, Made Practical
  8. Domain 4 — Spiritual or existential change
    Confronting limits and mortality can deepen or reshape your sense of meaning and the sacred.
    Post-Traumatic Growth, Made Practical
  9. Let go of perfectionism
    See perfectionism as a shield against judgment, not a path to excellence — and set it down.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
  10. Let go of comparison
    Stop measuring your worth against others — comparison fits in by being the same and standing out at once.
    The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical

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