Coaching practices for The Nurtured Heart Approach Howard Glasser with Friends

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Nurtured Heart Approach Howard Glasser with Friends, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • There are certain moments
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • I keep pouring myself into caring for everyone around me while running on empty, and instead of feeling connected it just leaves me hollowed out
  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong

Practices that may help

  1. The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
    Howard Glasser’s Nurtured Heart Approach holds that intense, challenging children are energized children who have learned that misbehavior is the most reliable way to get adult attention and engagement. The method systematically reverses that pattern by delivering rich, specific recognition for positive moments and refusing to energize negative behavior. Evidence is primarily clinical and observational — RCTs are limited, but teacher and parent studies show meaningful reductions in behavioral referrals and improved classroom climate.
  2. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  4. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  5. Tend to yourself before tending to others
    Sustainable tend-and-befriend requires that the caregiver’s own basic needs are met — otherwise helping depletes rather than regulates.
    Tend-and-Befriend, Made Practical
  6. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  7. Use close friendship as a moral laboratory
    Cultivate deep friendships deliberately — they are the arena where practical wisdom is practiced and tested.
    Phronesis: Aristotle’s Practical Wisdom
  8. Practise including the other person in your self-concept
    Close relationships develop when you genuinely incorporate the other’s perspectives and resources into how you think — not just spend time with them.
    Self-Expansion Model: How Relationships Grow (and Stagnate) Us
  9. Cultivate micro-moments of connection (positivity resonance)
    Brief genuine moments of shared positive emotion with any other person — not just close relationships — build the social resources that sustain wellbeing.
    Broaden-and-Build, Made Practical
  10. The concentric-circle extension of ren
    Deliberately extend the quality of care you have for those closest to you toward more distant others.
    Confucian Self-Cultivation: The Mencius Approach

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