Coaching practices for The Power of Full Engagement for My Teenager

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • I treat my own bad moods as background static to just power through, and then I’m baffled when my focus and drive keep collapsing
  • There are certain moments
  • I’ve gotten ruthlessly efficient at all of it and I’m emptier than ever
  • There’s a window every day

Practices that may help

  1. The Power of Full Engagement, Made Practical
    Loehr and Schwartz argue that performance depends on managing energy, not time: you have physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy, and the key is oscillating between full engagement and real recovery rather than pushing linearly. The four-dimensions model is a practitioner framework, but its building blocks — recovery, breaks, sleep, exercise, and meaning — each have their own real support.
  2. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Manage emotional energy
    Cultivate positive emotional states deliberately, since they fuel performance and connection.
    The Power of Full Engagement, Made Practical
  4. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  5. Connect to purpose (spiritual energy)
    Anchor effort to values and meaning, the deepest and most renewable source of drive.
    The Power of Full Engagement, Made Practical
  6. Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
    A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  7. Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
    Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  8. Give age-appropriate autonomy within non-negotiable limits
    Let the child choose within the boundaries you set — the choice builds competence; the boundary provides safety.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
  9. Oscillate deliberately between full engagement and full recovery
    Treat disengagement between performances as a skill to develop, not an indulgence to manage.
    The Ideal Performance State, Made Practical
  10. Cultivate deep absorption in a chosen activity
    Give a meaningful activity your total, undivided attention until self-consciousness drops away.
    Peak Experiences and Self-Actualization

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