Coaching practices for The Satir Model in a New Job
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Satir Model in a New Job, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every time a conversation gets tense I snap into the same reaction without choosing it
- I trust my favorite framework so completely that I apply it everywhere without checking, and lately it’s been quietly steering me wrong
- When I’m upset it all comes out as "you did this, you always do that"
- I want to be able to say the true thing in a hard conversation without either shrinking myself to keep them comfortable or steamrolling them to protect myself
- My team keeps landing in the same wrong place no matter how we tweak our actions, and it’s dawning on me that the real problem is some unspoken belief we all just take as how-the-world-works
Practices that may help
- The Satir Model
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence. - Recognize your own defensive stance under stress
Identify which stance you default to when threatened — placating, blaming, computing, or distracting.
The Satir Model - Constantly distinguish the map from the territory
A model is a simplification — know precisely where yours breaks down.
Mental Models: Charlie Munger’s Latticework Approach - Correct blaming by adding accountability for self
When blaming, add an honest account of your own contribution to the problem.
The Satir Model - Practice congruent communication
Say what you feel, about what you observe, while caring for both yourself and the other person.
The Satir Model - Surface and test the mental models driving behavior
Make the assumptions behind decisions explicit — they are often the root structural cause.
Systems Thinking - Appoint an explicit devil’s advocate role
Give one person the formal job of arguing against the plan — making dissent structural, not personal.
Red Teaming: Stress-Testing Plans Before They Fail - Work on the self-worth beneath the stances
The defensive stances protect against low self-worth — building the worth reduces the need for protection.
The Satir Model - Red-team your plan with a formal adversarial review
Assign someone the explicit role of finding every way your plan could be wrong or fail.
Confirmation Bias: Seeing What You Expect to See - Use genius mapping in onboarding
Surface a new hire’s geniuses early so you design their role around energy, not just skills.
The 6 Types of Working Genius (Patrick Lencioni)
Related concerns
- The Satir Model At Work
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
- The Satir Model As A Parent
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
- The Satir Model For My Teenager
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
- The Satir Model With My Team
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
- Satir Family Therapy Communication
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
- The Satir Model As A Caregiver
Virginia Satir’s model identifies four defensive communication stances people adopt under stress — Placating, Blaming, Computing, and Distracting — each driven by low self-worth. The fifth stance, Congruent communication, aligns what you feel, what you say, and your regard for yourself and the other person simultaneously. Satir used the model clinically with families and couples; the goal is not to eliminate the stances but to recognize them and choose congruence.
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