Coaching practices for The Stoic Discipline of Desire for My Teenager
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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My peace of mind is hostage to things I can’t control
- I want things I can’t make happen
- I keep wishing reality were different than it is
- My comforts have quietly become needs
- I’ve quietly turned this promotion (or this win, this approval) into a condition of being okay at all
Practices that may help
- The Stoic Discipline of Desire
Pierre Hadot identified the "discipline of desire" as one of the three Stoic spiritual exercises: training yourself to desire only what is in your power (virtue, your own judgments and responses) and to be indifferent to what is not. The practice targets the root cause of most human suffering — craving things outside your control — rather than its symptoms. - The discipline of desire
Confine your desires and aversions to what is genuinely up to you — your judgments and actions, not outcomes.
The Inner Citadel - Apply the dichotomy of control to your desires
Before each want, ask: is the object of this desire in my power, or outside it?
The Stoic Discipline of Desire - Practice amor fati — love what happens
Train yourself not just to accept what is given, but to want it — to find the ground for willing what occurs.
The Stoic Discipline of Desire - Practice voluntary discomfort to weaken the power of desire
Periodically choose a minor discomfort (cold, hunger, inconvenience) to confirm that you can tolerate more than you fear.
The Stoic Discipline of Desire - Pursue preferred indifferents without requiring them
Prefer health, success, and good relationships — but pursue them as means, not as conditions of your well-being.
The Stoic Discipline of Action - Practise treating virtue as the only unqualified good
In any situation, ask: the only thing I can guarantee I will gain from this is the quality of my response — is that enough?
The Stoic Discipline of Desire - Discipline desire and aversion
Want only what’s up to you, and be averse only to what’s up to you — then you can’t be thwarted.
The Enchiridion, as a Handbook - Practice negative visualization to reset desire
Spend five minutes imagining the loss of something you currently take for granted — then let the wanting of it become gratitude for having it.
The Stoic Discipline of Desire - Pursue preferred indifferents with full effort but without attachment
Strive for health, success, and good outcomes — but know they are preferred, not required.
The Dichotomy of Control: Epictetus’ Central Lesson
Related concerns
- Stoic Desire Health Wealth
Prefer health, success, and good relationships — but pursue them as means, not as conditions of your well-being.
Pursue preferred indifferents without requiring them
- The Stoic Discipline Of Desire As A Caregiver
Pierre Hadot identified the "discipline of desire" as one of the three Stoic spiritual exercises: training yourself to desire only what is in your power (virtue, your own judgments and responses) and to be indifferent to what is not. The practice targets the root cause of most human suffering — craving things outside your control — rather than its symptoms.
- The Stoic Discipline Of Desire At Work
Pierre Hadot identified the "discipline of desire" as one of the three Stoic spiritual exercises: training yourself to desire only what is in your power (virtue, your own judgments and responses) and to be indifferent to what is not. The practice targets the root cause of most human suffering — craving things outside your control — rather than its symptoms.
- The Stoic Discipline Of Desire In A New Job
Pierre Hadot identified the "discipline of desire" as one of the three Stoic spiritual exercises: training yourself to desire only what is in your power (virtue, your own judgments and responses) and to be indifferent to what is not. The practice targets the root cause of most human suffering — craving things outside your control — rather than its symptoms.
- Discipline Of Desire Stoicism
Pierre Hadot identified the "discipline of desire" as one of the three Stoic spiritual exercises: training yourself to desire only what is in your power (virtue, your own judgments and responses) and to be indifferent to what is not. The practice targets the root cause of most human suffering — craving things outside your control — rather than its symptoms.
- Epictetus Desire Aversion
Want only what’s up to you, and be averse only to what’s up to you — then you can’t be thwarted.
Discipline desire and aversion
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