Coaching practices for The Trust Equation After a Loss
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Trust Equation After a Loss, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We had a bad fight and now I’m just waiting for things to feel normal again on their own
- Trust with this person has cracked and I just keep apologizing for "not being trustworthy" in this big vague way
- I keep everything at work behind a polished, guarded front
- Even after we patch things up, every new conflict still feels like it could be the one that ends us
- With new people I try to fast-forward to being close
Practices that may help
- The Trust Equation, Made Practical
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook. - Actively restore the ratio after a major rupture
After a bad fight, the ratio is temporarily negative -- restoration requires intentional positive investment.
The Magic Relationship Ratio: Gottman's 5-to-1 Principle - Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
The Trust Triangle - Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - Let repeated repair build earned security
Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
Rupture and Repair - The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - Earn the right to deepen the relationship in stages
Trust compounds over time — start with technical credibility and expand into intimacy as it is earned.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
The Trust Triangle - Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
The Trust Triangle - Build sincerity by saying only what you mean
Only make commitments and assertions you actually believe — and retract the ones you don’t.
The Trust Triangle
Related concerns
- The Trust Triangle After A Loss
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle After A Setback
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- How To Build Trust Back In A Relationship
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
Extend trust deliberately to invite it
- How To Rebuild Trust
Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
- The Trust Triangle At Work
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Trust Building Exercises
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
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