Coaching practices for The Trust Equation with My Partner
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Trust Equation with My Partner, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I keep everything at work behind a polished, guarded front
- My partner sided with their family over me again, or didn’t back me up in front of others, and I’m left unsure whether they’ll actually put us first when it counts
- With new people I try to fast-forward to being close
- There’s one thing I’m really trying to become, and I wish my partner would just trust I can
- I won’t hand anyone real responsibility until they’ve completely proven themselves first
Practices that may help
- Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - The Trust Equation, Made Practical
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook. - Create and protect the couple bubble
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Earn the right to deepen the relationship in stages
Trust compounds over time — start with technical credibility and expand into intimacy as it is earned.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - Explicitly asking your partner to treat you as your ideal self
Name one quality of your ideal self and ask your partner to treat you as if you already have it.
The Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Partners Sculpt Each Other - The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - Extend trust deliberately to invite it
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
The Trust Triangle - Audit your actual ratio periodically
Estimate your recent positive-to-negative ratio to get an honest read on where you actually are.
The Magic Relationship Ratio: Gottman's 5-to-1 Principle - Practice openness through regular self-disclosure
Share your thoughts, feelings, and daily experiences — not just problems.
Relationship Maintenance Behaviors - Audit and reduce your self-orientation
Self-orientation is the denominator: a small increase in it wipes out gains in all three numerator variables.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical
Related concerns
- The Trust Triangle For My Teenager
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle With My Partner
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Trust Dimensions Feltman
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Care Dimension Of Trust
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
- Competence Trust Building
Name what you can do, what you can’t, and what you’ll need to learn — before you are found out.
Be transparent about your competence limits
- Interpersonal Trust Default
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
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