Coaching practices for The War of Art as a Parent
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The War of Art as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every time I avoid the work that matters most I pile it onto the heap of evidence that I’m just lazy or not cut out for this
- Every time I put my foot down and insist, my kid blows up worse
- My kid has started hiding mistakes and bracing like they’re in trouble before I’ve even said anything, and I think it’s because my first reaction to a spill or a broken thing is always the accusation
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- There’s a window every day
Practices that may help
- The War of Art, Made Practical
Steven Pressfield’s "Resistance" is his name for the internal force that opposes any meaningful creative or entrepreneurial act. His core practices — turning pro, showing up daily, and treating creative work as a profession rather than an inspiration-dependent activity — are grounded in practitioner wisdom from a working novelist. They align with self-regulation and deliberate practice research but are not derived from formal studies. - Name and externalize Resistance
Recognize the internal force opposing your creative work as Resistance — a universal opponent, not a personal failing.
The War of Art, Made Practical - Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson) - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Give age-appropriate autonomy within non-negotiable limits
Let the child choose within the boundaries you set — the choice builds competence; the boundary provides safety.
Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind) - Say yes to bids for connection before enforcing limits
A child’s capacity to accept limits depends on how connected they feel to the person setting them.
Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind) - Turn pro: do the work on a schedule, not a mood
Commit to showing up for your creative work at the same time every day, regardless of how you feel.
The War of Art, Made Practical - Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
Related concerns
- Atomic Habits As A Parent
James Clear’s system says behavior change is a system problem, not a willpower problem: make a desired habit obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying — and do the reverse for bad ones. The most load-bearing ideas (implementation intentions, friction reduction, identity-based change) are well supported in the research literature.
- Choice Architecture As A Parent
Choice architecture — the arrangement of options in a decision environment — powerfully biases outcomes through default effects, ordering, salience, and framing. Thaler and Sunstein showed this is true whether or not anyone designed it deliberately, which means you can redesign your environment to bias yourself toward better choices.
- Older Child 11 Years Jealous Of 2 Year Old
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
- Reactive Vs Responsive Parent
Responsiveness means tuning into what the child actually needs; reactivity means responding to what their behavior triggers in you.
Be responsive to the child’s needs, not reactive to their behavior
- Should I Use A Child Harness
Let the child choose within the boundaries you set — the choice builds competence; the boundary provides safety.
Give age-appropriate autonomy within non-negotiable limits
- The Ackerman Method As A Parent
The Ackerman method, popularized by Chris Voss in Never Split the Difference, is a structured offer-and-counteroffer system. You set a target price, then make a sequence of calculated bids that converge on that target with decreasing increments — signaling that you are near your limit even as you create the appearance of flexibility. The method uses psychology to make your counterpart feel they have won a hard bargain.
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