Coaching practices for Trust Repair Diagnosis

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Trust Repair Diagnosis, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Trust with this person has cracked and I just keep apologizing for "not being trustworthy" in this big vague way
• Even after we patch things up, every new conflict still feels like it could be the one that ends us
• Something’s damaged my trust in them but I can’t bring myself to just say so, so instead I quietly pull back, vent to other people, and let it fester
• I’ve started treating every fight we have as proof that something’s broken between us, and because we never really circle back to mend them afterward, each unfinished one chips away at all the good we’ve built
• There was one moment when I needed them most

Practices that may help

1. Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
   Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
   The Trust Triangle
2. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
3. Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
   Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
   The Trust Triangle
4. Rupture and Repair
   Ruptures — the inevitable misattunements, conflicts, and disconnections in any close relationship — are normal and unavoidable; what builds security is reliable repair afterward. Research from infant still-face studies, couples work, and psychotherapy all converges on the same finding: relationships are not made secure by avoiding rupture but by the predictable experience that disconnection can be named and reconnected.
5. The Trust Triangle
   Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
6. Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
   A repair attempt is any move -- humor, an apology, a softened tone, a bid to take a break -- that tries to lower conflict tension before it spirals. John Gottman's research found that whether couples successfully made and accepted repair attempts was a key marker separating stable from distressed couples. It is not avoiding conflict that matters most; it is the ability to repair within it.
7. Treat conflict as maintenance, not maintenance failure
   Repair well and quickly — because how you end conflict matters more than how you conduct it.
   Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
8. Repair an attachment injury
   Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
   Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
9. Build sincerity by saying only what you mean
   Only make commitments and assertions you actually believe — and retract the ones you don’t.
   The Trust Triangle
10. Reconnect emotionally before solving the issue
    Restore the bond first; the problem is far easier to discuss from connection than from threat.
    Rupture and Repair

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