Coaching practices for Values vs Goals Act

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Values vs Goals Act, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• There’s a goal I keep flogging myself to pursue and it just won’t stick
• Every time I set goals they end up being what I think I’m supposed to want
• I keep hitting the milestones I chase
• The moment a goal gets hard I lose all sense of why I’m even doing it
• I’ve got this whole list of goals and I honestly can’t tell anymore which ones are mine versus which I took on to look right or quiet the guilt

Practices that may help

1. Using your ranked values as a coaching north star
   Return to your ranked values list every time a goal, project, or decision feels off-track.
   Values Card Sort
2. Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
   Values-based action in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) means choosing behaviors that are consistent with what matters most to you — your values — rather than behaviors driven by avoidance of pain or approval-seeking. ACT distinguishes values (directions, ongoing) from goals (destinations, finishable); the emphasis is on the quality of action in the present rather than outcome attainment. ACT has robust meta-analytic support; values-based action is identified as a core mechanism.
3. Excavate core values before writing goals
   Identify what you most fundamentally care about before deciding what you want — or goals will be other people’s.
   The Life Crafting Intervention: Scripting Your Future Self
4. Separate values from goals
   Distinguish directions you live (values) from destinations you reach (goals).
   Values Clarification, Made Practical
5. Anchor each goal to a named, personal value
   Make the goal an expression of a specific value so it stays motivating when difficulty peaks.
   Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
6. Audit why you are pursuing each goal
   Check whether each goal is driven by interest and values or by guilt and external pressure.
   Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
7. Review and update anti-goals annually as values evolve
   Anti-goals based on your 28-year-old priorities may be wrong for your 38-year-old ones — review them explicitly.
   Anti-Goals: Defining Success by What You Refuse to Accept
8. Valued living audit: how much are you actually living your values?
   Rate both how important each value is and how consistently you have been living it — the gap is where to focus.
   Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
9. Internalize goals you did not choose
   Move externally set goals along the spectrum from "have to" toward "value".
   Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable
10. Values clarification
    Name the directions you want your life to move in, distinct from goals you can check off.
    Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical

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